Tools explained.

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Rosemary
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Tools explained.

Post by Rosemary » Mon Apr 15 2019 11:55

TOOLS AND HOW TO USE THEM. Mostly from personal experience. Rosie
CIRCULAR SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh '. s**t or worse

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

MULTI-GRIPS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
Very effective for digit removal !!

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also good for Digit Removal

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:(Mixing Paint)
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.

PVC PIPE CUTTER:
A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.

HAMMER: (AMERICAN SCREWDRIVER)
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON OF A BITCH TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
Just old and knackered.

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by davelumb » Mon Apr 15 2019 12:16

All true.
:boing:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by juttle » Mon Apr 15 2019 12:23

I could have written that myself, I’ve used every one of those tools for exactly the purposes described and was always told I was doing something wrong. Well, all you doubters, here’s the proof, I do know what I’m doing!

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Happy Hayes » Mon Apr 15 2019 12:37

Son of a bitch tool .

I think I’ve got one of those, but I know it by another name :grin:
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Tom

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Vole » Mon Apr 15 2019 17:10

Absolute classic, Missus! Printing off and laminating ASAP.

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by alan behenna » Mon Apr 15 2019 18:16

Sounds very similar to my own DIY "gifts" does that!

Can I just add............Lawnmower, great for finding it's electric cable.

:thumbs:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by John Milford » Mon Apr 15 2019 18:18

SPLIT-RING PLIERS:
A tool for the painless fitting and removal of split-rings - after you've just broken your thumbnail . . .

HOOK FILE:
A device for ensuring that the points of treble hooks are keen enough to penetrate your cuff beyond the barb.
"He's some sort of lure savant. Or just has an unhealthy addiction to old lures. We are not quite sure . . . . . "

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Andytheammer » Mon Apr 15 2019 20:34

:laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Mattjb » Mon Apr 15 2019 21:10

FIRST FIX NAIL GUN.
Gas powered device ideal for impaling two fingers at the same time.
(Yes it did hurt but I was fishing chew the next day so applied bog roll and insulation tape instead of going to A and E)

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Duncan Holmes » Mon Apr 15 2019 21:42

Mattjb wrote:
FIRST FIX NAIL GUN.
Gas powered device ideal for impaling two fingers at the same time.
(Yes it did hurt but I was fishing chew the next day so applied bog roll and insulation tape instead of going to A and E)
:cry: did it to myself with a Brad nailer earlier this year, did smart a bit, especially pulling it out.
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Duncan Holmes » Mon Apr 15 2019 21:43

Table saw.... got lucky
20160502_175229.jpg
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Happy Hayes » Mon Apr 15 2019 21:45

Duncan Holmes wrote:
Table saw.... got lucky

20160502_175229.jpg
f**k , I bet that throbbed

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Duncan Holmes » Mon Apr 15 2019 21:51

Happy Hayes wrote:
Duncan Holmes wrote:
Table saw.... got lucky

20160502_175229.jpg
f**k , I bet that throbbed
Apparently I just very quietly said "oh no". :grin:
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Happy Hayes » Mon Apr 15 2019 21:57

Duncan Holmes wrote:
Happy Hayes wrote:
Duncan Holmes wrote:
Table saw.... got lucky

20160502_175229.jpg
f**k , I bet that throbbed
Apparently I just very quietly said "oh no". :grin:
:laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Mattjb » Mon Apr 15 2019 22:27

Duncan Holmes wrote:
Mattjb wrote:
FIRST FIX NAIL GUN.
Gas powered device ideal for impaling two fingers at the same time.
(Yes it did hurt but I was fishing chew the next day so applied bog roll and insulation tape instead of going to A and E)
:cry: did it to myself with a Brad nailer earlier this year, did smart a bit, especially pulling it out.
I've done it with a brad nailer as well but that wasn't too bad! Those first fix nails are pretty thick though , I didn't get any sleep that night thanks to throbbing fingers!

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Mike J » Tue Apr 16 2019 17:11

Internal Grinder - use to insert cup wheel into back of hand when the guage pin slips out fast.
When I did it my Foreman showed me his scar and told me you couldn't call yourself a toolmaker until you had the tel-tale scar to prove it!
Missed all the tendons so just a few stitches (phew).

Ball Pein Hammer - Birmingham Screwdriver (I can say it Rosie, my Mum's side came from the Black Country)

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Kev Berry » Tue Apr 16 2019 22:41

Mattjb wrote:
FIRST FIX NAIL GUN.
Gas powered device ideal for impaling two fingers at the same time.
(Yes it did hurt but I was fishing chew the next day so applied bog roll and insulation tape instead of going to A and E)
you must live darn sarf :laughs:

round here we just stick us hand under t'arm for a bit, stamp us feet a few times, blow on it and carry on working :wink:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by John Milford » Wed Apr 17 2019 11:03

YELLOW HANDLED MULTI-TOOL:
Combination chisel, wrecking bar, mallet & paint stirrer.
(Also handy on the kind of enormous screws you never needed to buy, as everyone's Dad had a Quality Street tin full of them in his shed).
IMG_20190417_104557.jpg
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"He's some sort of lure savant. Or just has an unhealthy addiction to old lures. We are not quite sure . . . . . "

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Happy Hayes » Wed Apr 17 2019 14:33

I’m sure my Dad had one of them yellow handled screwdrivers.
He definitely had a quality tin full of big screws . :thumbs:
Regards
Tom

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by John Milford » Wed Apr 17 2019 17:28

Happy Hayes wrote:
I’m sure my Dad had one of them yellow handled screwdrivers.
He definitely had a quality tin full of big screws . :thumbs:
Regards
Tom
The big screwdriver was my old grandad's. Sheffield Chrome Vanadium Steel :cool:

(Just given it a bit of a clean up).
IMG_20190417_171913.jpg
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Carlperkins » Wed Apr 17 2019 23:19

Good for Bog screws

The brass slotted ones around a toilet.......
I f****n hate slotted screws.

Did an abrasive wheel course at work
Came home and took the guard of my grinder to get some screws off an old lambretta.
Wasn’t until I had blood everywhere that I noticed I had gone down to the bone on on finger 😂
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Kev Berry » Thu Apr 18 2019 22:26

Carlperkins wrote:
Good for Bog screws

The brass slotted ones around a toilet.......
I f****n hate slotted screws.

Did an abrasive wheel course at work
Came home and took the guard of my grinder to get some screws off an old lambretta.
Wasn’t until I had blood everywhere that I noticed I had gone down to the bone on on finger 😂
The only reason feckin DIY bodgists like you dont like slotted screws is because you think I flat screwdriver is the same as another....they not, and like pozi screws slotted screws require the right size driver :wink:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by zodiac » Sat Apr 20 2019 21:30

Kev Berry wrote:
Carlperkins wrote:
Good for Bog screws

The brass slotted ones around a toilet.......
I f****n hate slotted screws.

Did an abrasive wheel course at work
Came home and took the guard of my grinder to get some screws off an old lambretta.
Wasn’t until I had blood everywhere that I noticed I had gone down to the bone on on finger 😂
The only reason feckin DIY bodgists like you dont like slotted screws is because you think I flat screwdriver is the same as another....they not, and like pozi screws slotted screws require the right size driver :wink:
I'm not having that! Why do flat/ slotted screws even exist?? I'm with carl on this one. What possible advantage can there be in having a flat screw instead of a Phillips/ cross slot? Not one! Ever!
Mind you, I feel the same about spade end hooks..
'Politicians. Don't vote, it just encourages them. The desire to be a politician should bar you from life from ever being one' Billy Connoly

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by davelumb » Sat Apr 20 2019 21:49

Who'd a think there are so many different designs of screw heads? :clown:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_screw_drives

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Kev Berry » Sat Apr 20 2019 22:17

zodiac wrote:
Kev Berry wrote:
Carlperkins wrote:
Good for Bog screws

The brass slotted ones around a toilet.......
I f****n hate slotted screws.

Did an abrasive wheel course at work
Came home and took the guard of my grinder to get some screws off an old lambretta.
Wasn’t until I had blood everywhere that I noticed I had gone down to the bone on on finger 😂
The only reason feckin DIY bodgists like you dont like slotted screws is because you think I flat screwdriver is the same as another....they not, and like pozi screws slotted screws require the right size driver :wink:
I'm not having that! Why do flat/ slotted screws even exist?? I'm with carl on this one. What possible advantage can there be in having a flat screw instead of a Phillips/ cross slot? Not one! Ever!
Mind you, I feel the same about spade end hooks..
use the right slotted screwdriver and you wont shear it or round it off like with pozis :wink:

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by zodiac » Sat Apr 20 2019 22:47

Kev Berry wrote:
zodiac wrote:
Kev Berry wrote:
Carlperkins wrote:
Good for Bog screws

The brass slotted ones around a toilet.......
I f****n hate slotted screws.

Did an abrasive wheel course at work
Came home and took the guard of my grinder to get some screws off an old lambretta.
Wasn’t until I had blood everywhere that I noticed I had gone down to the bone on on finger 😂
The only reason feckin DIY bodgists like you dont like slotted screws is because you think I flat screwdriver is the same as another....they not, and like pozi screws slotted screws require the right size driver :wink:
I'm not having that! Why do flat/ slotted screws even exist?? I'm with carl on this one. What possible advantage can there be in having a flat screw instead of a Phillips/ cross slot? Not one! Ever!
Mind you, I feel the same about spade end hooks..
use the right slotted screwdriver and you wont shear it or round it off like with pozis :wink:
Kev, I've been doing joinery and fitting flooring for over 25 years. Don't sit there with a straight face and try and tell me slot headed screws are better. That's just b******s mate. Absolute b******s.
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by John Milford » Sun Apr 21 2019 02:16

zodiac wrote:
Why do flat/ slotted screws even exist??
That might possibly be because they were invented first. . . :roll:

Apparently, you can still buy nails too. :clown:
"He's some sort of lure savant. Or just has an unhealthy addiction to old lures. We are not quite sure . . . . . "

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by zodiac » Sun Apr 21 2019 08:16

John Milford wrote:
zodiac wrote:
Why do flat/ slotted screws even exist??
That might possibly be because they were invented first. . . :roll:

Apparently, you can still buy nails too. :clown:
Philips were invented just a few short years later, yet cross slot screws are still produced. I genuinely have no idea why. Nails have there uses!
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Re: Tools explained.

Post by Kev Berry » Sun Apr 21 2019 09:39

zodiac wrote:
John Milford wrote:
zodiac wrote:
Why do flat/ slotted screws even exist??
That might possibly be because they were invented first. . . :roll:

Apparently, you can still buy nails too. :clown:
Philips were invented just a few short years later, yet cross slot screws are still produced. I genuinely have no idea why. Nails have there uses!
slotted screws are about 400 years old, Philips invented in 1930s and Pozidriv about 20 years later
Posidriv and Philips are just more convenient to use and were designed where cam out is needed to prevent over tightening and damaging what is being screwed together by power tools .
They are not "better" than slotted screws just easier to use. You can tighten a slotted screw more tightly than a pozi before damaging the screw.
Allen/square/torsk etc headed screws are even better---but you can apply too much tightening with them causing damage to some materials.
When adjustable torque settings on power tools came into use it allowed you to tighten without stripping threads or rounding the heads of screws no matter what driver head was used.

So tell me---what screws do you have more problem with removing? The ones with a bit of paint on them or a bit of rust? Not the slotted ones is it?
Which driver heads feck up first? Again not the slotted ones.
Convenience is why pozi is "better" --the mechanics of it aren't

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Re: Tools explained.

Post by zodiac » Sun Apr 21 2019 10:12

In my experience- which is working with wood and screws most days for 25 years- virtually none of that is true. Slot headed screws feck up first. They're difficult to use, especially with power tools. A good quality pozi driver bit and decent quality screws will last for 10s of thousands of screws if used correctly. Hold the drill level and apply even pressure and it should never shear.
I've never ever met a tradesman who uses slotted screws by choice.
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