Full English

[Ben]

I go to lots of places in search of the perfect full English, my friend and I score each place on various points...

For example anywhere that serves up catering sausage is instantly delisted!

My perfect full English is as follows:

1) Dry cure bacon, fat must be crisp but bacon cannot be dry

2) High quality sausages, must be premum, not spicy on a breakfast (Cumberland or Lincolnshire or plain tasty pork) and ideally from a local butcher, absolutely must be golden brown

3) Black pudding, same as sausages

4) Mushrooms - not button and must be fried, some places boil and have them sat there for ages, totally wrong

5) Tomato - a few cherry tomatoes is my favourite, nice and sweet, I’ll take half a local tomato at a push but if you serve me plum tomatoes from a can that is minus points

5) Heinz beans - watery catering beans is an instant fail

6) Fried potatoes - an essential part of a breakfast for me, I will accept potato cakes but if you serve up hash browns it’s -1 for laziness

7) Eggs - beautifully poached, I’ll have fried or scrambled, but if it’s the latter it better have plenty of seasoning, must be golden yolks from free range hens

7) Toast - I don’t want warburtons, give me a nice slice of brown or white from the local bakery. The butter better be at room temperature as well otherwise that’s half a point off!

What really f***s me off at places is when they won’t do swaps or it’s extra for poached eggs, to me that shows poor customer service however often it’s arrogance and or laziness from the chef!

Also, in my opinion there is no place on a cooked breakfast for red or brown sauce! For me the beans provide the necessary saucey lubrication, but half of my mates disagree and take delight in asking for it!

What’s your perfect full English?

Discuss....

[suffolk si]

It’s the one thing I enjoy some brown sauce on and I’d go fried egg over poached, oh and it has to be accompanied by a big mug of coffee
Kev and Karl should do a breakfast cook off, both are top drawer

[Edward.P.A.C]

It’s the one thing I enjoy some brown sauce on and I’d go fried egg over poached, oh and it has to be accompanied by a big mug of coffee
Kev and Karl should do a breakfast cook off, both are top drawer

Theres only gonna be one winner there SI....

Kev's just a pretender to the crown mate....

If its a breakfast from a cafe I would expect local free range sausages and bacon. Plum toms, beans are usually too stodgy for my taste, and usually of some cheap catering variety.
Hash brown's have to be home made, none of this rubbish frozen s**t. As per Ben, for me thats a definite no no.

Heres one of what my boat partners can expect.

IMG_0061.jpg

Local cured bacon from Swanington pork, same free range sausages and butchers own black pudding.

Free range eggs and plum tom's.....

Same for a good fry up at home, except the addition of a home made hash brown

IMG_0172.jpg

[Ben]

Post your hash brown recipe please big boy

[Ben]

It’s the one thing I enjoy some brown sauce on and I’d go fried egg over poached, oh and it has to be accompanied by a big mug of coffee
Kev and Karl should do a breakfast cook off, both are top drawer

There is no beating a beautifully poached egg on top of a black pudding Si

[Edward.P.A.C]

Albert Bartlet spuds grated pour over boiling water. Leave for about 10 mins, blanch and then drain and rinse.

Squeeze all the startch out with a dish towel and then fry.

If you like you can’t also grate a small onion in with spuds. But I just stick with a bit of salt and pepper now.

[Nobby C]

Isn't that a rosti or am I nit picking?

[suffolk si]

To be fair I’m I’m not adverse to poached but a well cooked fried egg probably gets my vote and goes very well with some bacon in a bap, which by the way is another essential to wipe the he plate with to finish off, lovely jubbbly

[Ben]

Yeah I’d say that’s a Rosti but it might be a north/south thing

Do you eat potato cakes down south?

[Andrew]

Its possible to get more watery than heinz ?

Try branson mate

[Andrew]

Yeah I’d say that’s a Rosti but it might be a north/south thing

Do you eat potato cakes down south?

Wtf is it with the English wantin to name things cakes that are clearly no feckin cakes.

[Ben]

Its possible to get more watery than heinz ?

Try branson mate

I think there must be a special cheapo version of Heinz beans for you Jocks coz the ones down here are not watery mate

Beans means Heinz, end of story

Branson isn’t even a brand here, Branston yes, but that’s for pickle on a cheese sandwich

[Andrew]

Oh. It is branston. They do better beans than heinz.

[Ben]

Yeah I’d say that’s a Rosti but it might be a north/south thing

Do you eat potato cakes down south?

Wtf is it with the English wantin to name things cakes that are clearly no feckin cakes.

A cake can be savoury you know, doesn’t have to have a cream on

A potato cake is beautiful, especially with an egg on

I can eat them on their own

[Ben]

Oh. It is branston. They do better beans than heinz.

Get the f**k outta here, Branston make one thing and that’s f*****g pickle dude

[Ben]

Surprised nobody has mentioned fried bread yet?

Or what about fried banana, my Sister used to have that in a fry up until my Dad banned it from the house

[Andrew]

Egg on a cake ? f**k off....

[Ben]

Sweet cakes are made from egg you Neanderthal

Yes I’ve seen those beans, cheap crap

[Nobby C]

I buy and eat potato farls. Paul Rankin brand, great with a poached egg.
I buy Branston beans, UK company still I believe.

[Ben]

I’d dearly love to bury an axe in Paul Rankin’s skull

As for his potato farts, you can keep them Nobster

[Edward.P.A.C]

Yeah I’d say that’s a Rosti but it might be a north/south thing

Do you eat potato cakes down south?

A rosti and a hash brown are basically the same thing.....its another one of those things the yanks have taken from europe and bastardised

[Edward.P.A.C]

Oh. It is branston. They do better beans than heinz.

OK croftarse we've already ascertained you have no right or place on the food forum.

Now jog off and go play somewhere else....

[Andrew]

Heinz are american now. So, eh, get it roon ye.

[Nobby C]

I’d dearly love to bury an axe in Paul Rankin’s skull

As for his potato farts, you can keep them Nobster

Our father, who art in Southport
Give us this day our potato farls
Deliver us not from misery
For thine is the scouse
The shell suit and the hubcap
For ever and ever
Amen.

[Ben]

Heinz are american now. So, eh, get it roon ye.

Branston are owned by a Japanese company, who gives a f**k

[Kev Berry]

It’s the one thing I enjoy some brown sauce on and I’d go fried egg over poached, oh and it has to be accompanied by a big mug of coffee
Kev and Karl should do a breakfast cook off, both are top drawer

Theres only gonna be one winner there SI....

Kev's just a pretender to the crown mate....

If its a breakfast from a cafe I would expect local free range sausages and bacon. Plum toms, beans are usually too stodgy for my taste, and usually of some cheap catering variety.
Hash brown's have to be home made, none of this rubbish frozen s**t. As per Ben, for me thats a definite no no.

Heres one of what my boat partners can expect.
IMG_0061.jpg
Local cured bacon from Swanington pork, same free range sausages and butchers own black pudding.

Free range eggs and plum tom's.....

Same for a good fry up at home, except the addition of a home made hash brown
IMG_0172.jpg

Pah!----call that a breakfast

[Edward.P.A.C]

It’s the one thing I enjoy some brown sauce on and I’d go fried egg over poached, oh and it has to be accompanied by a big mug of coffee
Kev and Karl should do a breakfast cook off, both are top drawer

Theres only gonna be one winner there SI....

Kev's just a pretender to the crown mate....

If its a breakfast from a cafe I would expect local free range sausages and bacon. Plum toms, beans are usually too stodgy for my taste, and usually of some cheap catering variety.
Hash brown's have to be home made, none of this rubbish frozen s**t. As per Ben, for me thats a definite no no.

Heres one of what my boat partners can expect.
IMG_0061.jpg
Local cured bacon from Swanington pork, same free range sausages and butchers own black pudding.

Free range eggs and plum tom's.....

Same for a good fry up at home, except the addition of a home made hash brown
IMG_0172.jpg

Pah!----call that a breakfast

Ask ya man Si.....

in his own words "that's even bigger than one of Kev's breakfasts!!"

Poke that ya wee stump jumper.....

[Edward.P.A.C]

Heinz are american now. So, eh, get it roon ye.

Branston are owned by a Japanese company, who gives a f**k

Ben, just dont engage with the wee ginger f**k....

He's already proven he knows feck all about any form of cuisine, unless its deep fried.....

[Kev Berry]

It’s the one thing I enjoy some brown sauce on and I’d go fried egg over poached, oh and it has to be accompanied by a big mug of coffee
Kev and Karl should do a breakfast cook off, both are top drawer

Theres only gonna be one winner there SI....

Kev's just a pretender to the crown mate....

If its a breakfast from a cafe I would expect local free range sausages and bacon. Plum toms, beans are usually too stodgy for my taste, and usually of some cheap catering variety.
Hash brown's have to be home made, none of this rubbish frozen s**t. As per Ben, for me thats a definite no no.

Heres one of what my boat partners can expect.
IMG_0061.jpg
Local cured bacon from Swanington pork, same free range sausages and butchers own black pudding.

Free range eggs and plum tom's.....

Same for a good fry up at home, except the addition of a home made hash brown
IMG_0172.jpg

Pah!----call that a breakfast

Ask ya man Si.....

in his own words "that's even bigger than one of Kev's breakfasts!!"

Poke that ya wee stump jumper.....

I had to cut Si's breakfasts down a bit...he was putting a bit of weight on and making it hard to get on the plane

[Mike J]

Okay Ben, back to the subject.
When I lived overseas the two dishes I used to dream about was a roast pork dinner and a Full English.

Eggs - always poached and the biggest available.
Bacon - from the back 3/16" thick x 2, dry cured preferably natural smoked, tender but not crisp with bit of rind.(I used to buy a whole smoked side every Autumn, I admit to loving good bacon).
Sausage - local, ideally from one of the New Forest pannage porkers, must be a min. 1" thick, lightly seasoned and nicely browned.
Black Pudd - two 1/2" thick slices warmed through and slightly crisp edges.
Tomatoes - halves of a two incher, a little black on the top and salt only, no B herbs thank you!
Mushies - 3" dia x 2, open caps preferably wild and unpeeled.
Fried bread - crisp on top with soft inner, ideally with a touch of egg and dash of salt.

Only add beans if Im alone and/or outside for the next couple of hours.

Never eat a Full English at home, to much faffing about !